“Boundary vs Ultimatum”
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text reads:
The difference between a boundary and an ultimatum is sometimes just a perception of who has the power.
An ultimatum is a statement of control.“Do what I tell you, or else I’ll leave!!!”
Whereas a boundary comes from a place of personal empowerment and assumption of equality in the dynamic. “This is what I’M willing to do, and I’ll have to pull back to a safe distance for myself if you can’t meet me there”
But it can get murky because when someone feels like the other has control over them for any reason, they might hear a boundary as an ultimatum.
“If that’s the only thing you’re willing to do, I guess I have to just be ok with it BECAUSE I WILL DIE WITHOUT YOU”
So noticing power dynamics in connection to others is often just as important as having clear boundaries for yourself.
“If I didn’t feel like I NEED you, what would my boundaries actually be in this situation?”